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We are so into library science right now. Word up to all my librarians. Raise your horn-rimmed glasses proudly, ladies. And dudes (Andrew). You guys are seriously smart and in-tune with both the internet and the Common Reader. You have shown us, in our interviews and casual conversations and desperate phone calls about database software, that a library is so much more than a collection of books. It is a repository of humanity, that ineffable stuff we’re always on about in the humanities (see: the name of the discipline) and fine arts. And librarians are (with museum docents) the Jedi-esque gatekeepers of the social space of outside-of-school learning.
Seriously smart, likesay. As opposed to these clowns:
These gentlemen are NOT librarians, as you shall understand upon viewing our informative, simple guide to the future of the library. DO NOT FALL FOR THEIR TRICKS. These gentlemen offer no books. Or perhaps only really naughty, also very boring books, such as tomes of “raunchy” limericks from between the World Wars. Ignore them. Offer no succor, not even a single nickel. They will make even that nickel WHOOSH into a devastatingly cute baby rabbit, emergent from a oil-black tophat. They will pull nickels in abundance from the backsides of your ears. But they will lend you no books, help you with no dissertations, and generally offer nothing of substance…

